Help me find my meaning, because I have lost it a 1000 times

I've wept so many tears, it's starting to piss me off

please lord break me forever, so it wont ever hurt again

disappointment I distaste you, but you lick me in all the right places

leading life in this old machine, rudely awoken by mistakes

unsatisfied smiles ordered by my unrealistic mind 

these uncivilized thoughts threatening war

at least it takes me away from home, away from the picture frames

away from any commitments I've learned to let go

I hate it, I hate you, I just hate

YA

I have fallen for your emotions 

YA

MISTAKES

Drunk inside this time, I am utterly in love

I don't want to touch you but I want to feel your purpose 

so I can lie next to it and let fire consume it in my need

inside me like a translucent red waterfall 

let it manifest into gold, make it last

YA