silence

opening up is really hard, specially if you have been broken so many times before. perhaps we hate the faces of pity, the "you dont understand anything im going through" voice in your head that roars when someone is trying to touch, maybe even the feeling that every eye is there to watch your every fall. the feeling of being numb sounds a lot more sweet then the feeling of the screaming loneliness inside. the pitch black of your heart as gets cold and hard each and every time you get kicked. you have no time to cry because that seems like such a waste of your pain, because you believe you feed the monster that is inside that growing. you are ashamed with yourself that you believed. believed there is such a thing other then loneliness. 

                                              "I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most

                                             I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well"