A girl gotta cry sometimes

you know your a strong women/girl when you know it's time to stop pitying yourself! that's the hardest thing a girl gotta know how to do because we waste so much of our times dwelling in our little miseries. but you gotta know when enough is enough and you have to move on! the next step is trying not to have others to feel bad for you, because they wont. again, you will only waste your time trying to get people to care about you instead of taking charge and changing your outcomes. you have to learn to be strong or stronger, you have to fight the tears and most importantly, never let others see you cry because that makes you weak. now i'm not saying this because I 100% believe in it, but we live in a hard world and that's just the way it works. it does not make you a bitch or cold hearted for wanting to seem strong and independent. it just makes you gain a lot more respect. look at this way, if a girl just breaks down because people are always unfair and wines about everything every time things go wrong, wouldn't you (and lets be honest here) think that that girl is weak and unworthy of your time? but that doesn't mean you have to keep everything bottled in, that you have a nervous break down! Cuz a girl gotta cry when she has to cry. All i'm saying is, don't pity yourself all the time because it will ruin you! if you go around bursting into tears and expecting people to feel bad for you, only the opposite is going to happen. all your going to end up doing is looking like a mess and looking ugly while everyone waits until you leave so they could start talking about you. because you see, where while this world is making an it girl and she shines and glitters, another is perhaps going through the toughest times of her entire existence.

I swear I wasn't trying to be mean with the picture....maybe a little lol.

Mommy dearest...

we all have a dealt with crazy moments with our moms. some of us might think and behave like our fathers and that is perhaps why our moms act the way they do around us. perhaps they have to deal with 2 people they kinds hate? I dunno but one of my best friend's relationship with her mother 70% of the time is yelling, screaming or just hating one an other. the other 15% is prolly just ignoring each other and the left over is how much they get along. This doesn't help the fact that she is from ethiopia and parents from there are beyond the word OLD school. every question is answered with some annoying explanation. ex: so mom do you think I could go out this weekend and hang out with friends? the mother answers with "when I was younger we never even attempted to go out at night with boys let alone ask the question!" (this is prolly what;s going through the daughters head) where the fuck did you here me say anything about boys? it's only freaking 7 and my GIRL friend is the one that I'm hanging out with! you don't necessarily have to have ethnic families to be treated this way. But here are the top things that are annoying!

1. Do you care to ask me before you do something that involves me and my life? does my opinion count at all?  
2. Why do you feel the need to go through my stuff to find out things about me? have you heard of something called talking?
3. Why do you think every thing I do is bad?
4. why do I have to clean my room when it's ALREDY clean?
5. why do you pretend like your nice to me, only when I do the smallest thing wrong, you jump on my case?
6. why do you point with the middle finger?
7. there is something completely outside of school...it's called a life!
8. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE WORD PRIVACY?!?!?!
9. Just because you had a bad day, it doesn't mean you can take it out on me!
10. I'm just gonna let you guys think about this one!

At the end of the day parents love us and are trying to do the best for us blah blah blah! but until i understand exactly how, i think i'm just gonna stick with venting!

SAVE ME

ugly sounds playing over and over
salty ponds rolling down a cliff
a face that doesn't quite capture the vision
everything so sad, cravings 
wanting something that doesn't exist
bitting me when i'm so still
they roll down, such beasts
they howl and scream for ears
they leave me to be holy, gray like roman candles 
they bend in their mystical ways 
creating lines of disappeared lives 
to cure my insanity through age
through the pains of humanity
to disease me to the black roads of heaven
to have me pass through bribed angels 
to say what i have to say to the face of god
power in my mighty words
"oh thou beauty, oh thou skin"
they do not understand you not even in the times of crisis, paranoia or deceit
but i do, so mend me like the broken sea
like the spiders on the moon

I say besties, you say enemies.

when we meet someone for the first time, we size them up, (for girls) we look at what their wearing, who they're friends with, try and see if you can deal with the drama. Then comes the honeymoon season when your going, doing, making everything together. Right until it gets tooo unbearable to people around you. I've done it, we've all have done it. But then you start to get annoyed and irritated with this new friend, all those times you called yourselves besties would start to slowly fall apart. This formula is the usual every girl drama but when a genuine two people become friends and their friendships start to fall apart there is nothing that could save it. the friend that is being wrongly accused would start feeling angry and rightly so, but you start questioning yourself if your have the right to do that. you go through the faze of questioning everything you did with your friend, if you were crazy to think that you guys were best-friends. just like you were in a real relationship, you start to feel unwanted and all you want to do is be alone. How can you save a friendship if the other person doesn't even notice it's falling apart? or even if they did they don't want it to be saved? Best thing you could do at that point is give that person time and space and just like you would in a relationship wait to be loved again. no matter how you feel hurt, for losing such a close friendship you have to try not to be the person with the cold shoulder. because when it come to it, they will remember how you have hurt them just like you would remember ever detail about it. just tell your self to learn to grow the fuck up! to stop gossiping about it and make new friends, surly your friend isn't waiting for you!          

Kate Moss’s W Magazine cover shoot

Soooo Kate Moss did a photo shoot for W magazine that a lot of people are talking about. it border  lines offensive and well a big WTF! the most stupid part is that she didn't even get  interviewed or anything. instead someone wrote about her, and how she's aging but not really. if you are actually familiar with any of her work, you know her to be rock and roll, different and intriguing to look at. So you might ask your self as to why she would agree to do the photo shoot. as much as i wanna get on her and the magazines case about how absurd this all is, I do like some of the pics. key word being SOME. the only reason it even works is because it's Kate Moss that's doing the photo shoot and not anyone else. so enough of my talk, the pics are down below. I tried to find as much as them as I could. enjoy .

Perfume ads anyone?

One of my biggest time wasters and love is looking at perfume ads! Women and Men hired to look pretty, amazing cinematography, and breath taking landscapes, just Piled on for a one min worth of video of pure sex! not actually but let's be honest by the time you finish watching one, your gasping to see the next! either way here are one my faves!

all time favorite next!

Marilyn Monroe

sometimes we want to hear things we fantasies about in our pretty little heads and hope it comes to vision. it sounds all romantic to us, we sometimes even forget about the reality, as if we live behind a cinema block. so if we ask our selves as to why we fanatics about something we all have answerers that we hope would make us sound better then the next. Twinkles in our eyes and sprinkles of stardom so close to our reach, we shine. I my self am not innocent of this but it sounds so appealing then the lateral world we live in. so ask me about Marilyn Monroe, James dean or just anyone, why I love them and I would answer because they were lonely. Because they were sad and miserable in such poetic ways. it almost makes it humors to think such legends were that way but that's the point! To hear Marilyn speak was so sweet and we all understand why she was the way she was. it sometimes makes me wanna cry when i see her smiling in her movies because she smiled so much in sorrow. but of course she was much more then that! she was and is Marilyn Monroe. We miss her so much we recreate her and fall in love each and ever time! And if you can't forget then surely she was Great. The sad part of all this is that we are obsessed with a women that wanted nothing but to be left alone. It makes one wonder what she would be feeling if she saw all this.

no matter how strange this next video is a computer generated Monroe. enjoy.

AMAZING songs i'm obsessed with right now!

THis song is BEYOND amazing sooooo powerful, it has no words! I was supposed to choreograph a dance with it but it didn't work out. 

Next song is actually surprising because I'm not really a big fan of Taylor swift but I thought this song was really really good!

This next one is this french indie singer that needs a lot more publicity then she's getting. it's sooo amazing to listen too. But I LOVE <<<3333

 okay okay this next one is soooooo usually not me but you gotta admit everything about this song video everything is just to good! though that alien thing at the end really really freaks me out! that little girls is sooo scary too! you don't wanna mess with her!

next one is by The pretty reckless, you might know the lead from the show gossip girl. tho I hated her in the show I do like her as a musician I think she has spunk and just needs to be given a little bit more time to prove herself!

I hope you liked all of these, i'll do more of these next week!

A little bit sad!

soooo today I spent a good part of my day trying to figure out how to get more views on my page, and it's hard! I really have great ideas but it's hard to stay motivated when I don't get as much support! but i have to stay motivated so I will keep on going! :) but it would be really awesome if some of my readers would keep on supporting me and tell friends to come over here and support! it would be really cool!

randome cute pics for valentines day!

kk the last one is just funny!! but someone put that in this girls backpack today at school but how cute is the old guy getting valentines card?? that just breaks my heart :*( in a good way of course!

LUST

on thing I forgot to add is that everything that's capitalized is poetry, just putting that out there. So today is obviously valentines day and all around the world people are being all lovey dovey and we all no what come next soooo I just wanted to put out an appropriate post today about that so enjoy :)



he smelled like obsession 
he seduced me by the night
he sparked my curiosity 
darkness I desire
my heart skyrockets with his touch
and his soulful eyes 
his unearthly kiss and crocked smile 
breath on me and break down your pride
don't leave me, for i'm addicted to your light
nothing would matter only he
he who would be the end of me

Grammys

soooooo wish I was able to watch the performances but I didn't get to cuz I had to work that day. but I did go to one my fave gossip site and got to see what I missed and I gotta say! DAMNNNNNNN RIHANNA!!! she looked beyond gorgeous and sexy. I mean in order to pull of something like that you need to be well.... Riri. she was so comfortable with herself and that's what made it work for me.

also ADELE MY LOVE was the center of attention and she deserved it too! It is annoying when people compare her to singers with skinny figures and stuff but she showed us all that that's not the point and purpose of music :)) 

one thing I found really shocking tho is that Etta James was NOT included in the speech with whitney. If you asked me James was a lot more amazing and had a voice beyond anything. but it is what it is and it's in a industry that no one seems to understand. like for example giving an award to an asshole (cough chris brown cough) but what can you do. what is soooo hard to understand tho is how some people react to him, it's beyond words.

This right here just shows how women have lost respect for themselves!

HELL

sooo this poem is obviously dark but it has great meaning if read carefully! One thig i would like to add though is that, pls pls pls dont steal my poems! they mean the world to me!




The Tears of when I was dying where the best I ever had
heads bowed out of regret
fragile arms of the broken lent
expressionless faces to weak to worship 
carless in your ways, forgetful of what you meant
headless beast that drown in hills, hunting for the coming death
running in circles that have no intimacy 
familiar faces, jules of sorrow
the times you seduced your way out of a prayer 
yet you keep breaking broken promises 
they make blotches on my body, such tragic places
no one came to say my goodbye, oh such habits of fools
but peace in the end, to die looking at the moon

Mean Girls

High school is mean! No matter how people will tell you it's not and no matter how people will try to make you believe things will be better if you smile, they don't. Sure you would learn to move on and you might be stronger everyday but it doesn't mean that problem is fixed. Though we cry and complain that why people acted a certain way or not, we all have to ask ourselves what would I have done? There is a girl in my school that I see every lunch period that seems to surprise everyone. I'm not gonna lie and say she fits in because she doesn't. She wears what she likes (which is very hard to do in a school fool of millionar's sons and daughters btw) she has emo makeup and you always see her listening to her iPod. When I fist saw her I wanted to sound cool and fit in so I talked about how weird she was. But each and everyday I saw her, I saw there was something about her that was sooo captivating, so different, so fresh. She was not normal to us because she had a mind of her own. But no matter how strong she was she might complain just like the rest of us, she might wish for a nice guy or god knows what. But you don't see her trying to fit and be just like everyone else. For me the day I really saw her was when she broke down and cried in front of the whole school for everyone to see. She did not hid her face as any of us girls would do if put in that place, she put her face up words and just cried and that's makes her stronger then anyone of us New Trier girls. High school is hard and we will all get through it but in our own way, not by watching showsn like Glee to makes us all feel happy inside cuz we all have to be realistic. So next time you cry about someone mistreating you, ask your self what would I have done because its most likely you would find yourself doing exactly what the person did to you.

Shadows

This poem is a little dark but it's about having something on your mind constantly! the feeling you get when you want to talk to a person that you SHOULDN'T talk to because you know your going to be hurt. it's doesn't necessary have to be romantic. 




a raven of shadows comes over my sleep
it raids on my dreams it takes over my peace
escaping from little happiness, perhaps road to my regret
perhaps to drown me in depth 
but yet i just want to run away
misery is every where and emptiness in days
so understand my solitude and understand my crimes
fear from echoed footsteps 
my heart a useless instrument
that's why i don't sleep at night
secrets and guilt, bake and burn away at my skin
once epiphanies now forgotten bits 
but you wail and cry that im missing
and now im lost because you dont listen 
even my dreams play tricks on me
they say it's my fault, they say peace is in death
but what of death's peace

Jack Kerouac

Though I don't have much time right now to write this, I wanted to write something quick and short about the man that inspired the title of my blog. He is one of my biggest literary crush i mean the man wrote until it drove him to his death but he wrote any ways. there is sooo much i could say about him but i feel ashamed to even try, to even call myself a writer after reading he's work! he was a genius beyond any words. He changed my entire life after reading one book. Though not many of you would agree to do so i would highly HIGHLY recommend you read he's books. Most importantly "On The Road".


The video below is a poem called "Howl" read by James France <3 but written by Allen Ginsberg a good friend of Jack Kerouac. Even though the video is really short, it shows how powerful their work was! If you are even more interested watch the whole movie. It's called Howl or even better read the poem it's self!

Nothing like the 20's

In life there are people that just do things because they tell themselves they have to do it to survive. And then you find people that follow their dreams. There is nothing more exciting, intriguing, and most importantly sexy then to to find a man/women that follow their PASSION in life. TO go after everything they crave from a world that other wise offers so little! That's why I love everything from the 20's and the 60's-70's era. the rebelliousness of the "flapper women" from the 20's and the drunk till you go mad men from the 60's and 70's.  

FEAR

This poem is something I can't quite explain even to myself it just made it's self. It's called fear because there is nothing greater then a curse from a mother.

Mama told me I should be careful, That she had seen a dream

Don't trust no one she said

She then broke down and screamed

'No NO' it's disgraceful

No daughter of mine is this wretched

What of your dignity, what of your pride

History is not your friend, they always get you wrong

Why claw at your past sins, haven't you seen enough?'

She then stopped breathing, she gave up and died

She didn't understand my dreams, cursed me on sight 

It's the end of you she preached, ambition is in the devils eyes

YA

A little bit about me

Well my name is Yemi, I live in Chicago and I LOVE IT!!!! Living here is like a dream come true! Just recently got accepted to one of my top choice of colleges so it’s exciting! I’m Ethiopian and French mixed and well that sums up my background haha. I started this blog cuz I wanted a place where I can share my poems and just vent about everything I love! Soooo I hope you enjoy and more and more readers stop by here!